MARRIAGE, MOTHERHOOD AND MASS-PANIC // FEELS

Leave a Comment



// BELIEVE IN YOURSELF // 


For those of you lucky enough to have dodged this convo with me... You may not know yet, that the initial inspiration behind this blog came from a small tribe of baby females. (YUP!)


So basically, I turned 30 and my nearest and dearest friends started to get hitched and/or have babies and it just so happened that they've pretty much all had baby GIRLS. Amazing right? My very own 'Rebel Girls Club'.

This not only unleashed an over-whelming surge of love inside of me and the urge to buy mini-moccasins, books about unicorns and stow away 1st birthday presents like my life depended on it, but it also unleashed another major emotion. One we all know too well - good old self-doubt
Should I be worried that these same life moments aren't happening to me?


I must admit the casual throwaway comments that society seem to think us 30-something women can handle, didn't really help the way I was feeling. Phrases such as 'too late' and 'geriatric mother' started swimming about in my brain and I have to admit, it made me doubt my current status - not married, not a mother, not a home owner, not a driver... (the list goes on)

Am I really defined by these things? 

To make it worse my male partner seemed oblivious to this kind of pressure. Nobody seemed to be asking him why he wasn't preggers yet or doesn't have a wedding ring on.

We live in an age of over-sharing. Social media knows our age, marital status, likes and dislikes and as a result of this the preconceptions of what a 30 year old "should" be doing start to pop up left, right and centre in carefully selected adverts for ClearBlue and numerous wedding/engagement announcements. From the conversations I've shared with friends who have become parents or married the love of their life, the pressure doesn't end there. Again, we as a society casually throw our opinions around about breast feeding, not breast feeding, being a working mum, not being a working mum, holding your baby too much, not holding your baby enough, being a stay at home dad, being a dad who isn't around enough... You get the picture.

What I don't want from this post, is for anyone to think it is an attack on those who are married or have become parents... I would like those things for myself one day. 
My issue is being told when I should make these things happen, cos shouldn't that be my choice?! I also feel like we should all consider that it isn't that simple for some women, they may not have choice or they may not want it. So attitudes we have towards women in their thirties can feel harmful, even if it comes from a good place.


 
@mothersmeeting


Whilst writing this post, my good old friend self-doubt popped back in to put me off... Don't admit to these feelings, it said. It's too personal. Other people don't sweat this kinda stuff!

Well, by talking about it I feel empowered and by admitting to the pressures I have momentarily felt in my thirties I feel strongerSurely that's what your thirties are for? Owning who you are, understanding what you're about, learning to love yourself and respect the choices of others.

So to all the baby rebel girls out there who inspired me to start this blog. 
Believe in yourselves.

 May you always be free to do things how you want to do them and when you want to do them, because that is the beauty of the time we live in. 

XOXO


SHARE:
Next PostNewer Post Previous PostOlder Post Home

0 comments:

Post a Comment

BLOG TEMPLATE CREATED BY pipdig